I Used to Be a Christian

And that’s one of the reasons I started My Comfy Uterus.  I needed a safe, anonymous place to express myself for realsies.  All my social circles are religious and everyone thinks I’m still a Christian.  I’m a former missionary.  I preach nearly every month.  It gets kinda awkward sometimes.

Don’t get me wrong.  Jesus is, of course, awesome.  It’s hard to read the first three gospels and think any other way.  Do as you’d be done by.  Turn the other cheek.  Love your enemies.  Awesome, awesome.

But the church turned Jesus into a religion and turned the gospels into Scripture.  And now we have an evil, imperial system that sometimes seems dedicated to fighting against everything Jesus loved.

Most of my friends believe that God is all-loving.  Unless you haven’t read the bible or believe in Jesus.  Then he’s gonna fuck you up for eternity.  But, yeah, he loves you somehow.  Oh, and if you go to hell it’s your own fault for rejecting Jesus.  Didn’t you get the memo?

Most of my friends believe that this all-loving and all-powerful God interacts with the world to make things better.  My friends pray for good weather on the church picnic and it turns out to be a sunny day.  Glory to God!  I guess no one was praying at Sandy Hook Elementary on December 14.

I mean, how idiotic can we be?  We actually believe that there is a being–a person–who looks down on all of us with infinite wisdom and power and love.  Sometimes he helps us find parking spots when we pray and yet he lets 10,000 kids die of hunger every day and he lets crazies shoot up schools.

“No!  It’s part of his special plan!”

Sorry, but his plan sucks ass.

So let’s stop asking dumb questions like “Where was God in all this?”  He wasn’t there.  He had no part in it at all because if there is a God it’s nothing like anything written down in a book.

The Kingdom of God–the never-ending reign of peace–will come when he stop looking for a cosmic daddy to bring it to us.  Like Jesus said, it’s in our grasp.  It’s right there, waiting for us.


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