How to Smoke Weed

Weed is fun.  If more people smoked it, there’d be less hate and violence in the world.  I started smoking as an adult, which I’m happy about.  Here’s some things I’ve learned in my years as an intelligent and intentional pothead.
  • If it’s your first time, only smoke weed.  Stay away from the booze.  I made the mistake of taking my first tokes while drunk and while the experience was awesome and interesting, I had almost no control over my body and passed out after half an hour.
  • Be mindful.  Marijuana shows you a different perspective of existence.  Most people just toke up and veg out.  I think that’s a waste of good weed.  Especially if it’s your first time.  The first time is a unique experience.  No matter how much you smoke, you’ll never get the first time again.  So pay attention.  Notice the things you look at.  Notice the sounds, the smells and the feelings.  What kinds of thoughts are you having?  Write them down.  This is a chance to look at the universe from a different point of view.  Don’t waste it.
  • Stay positive.  Stay relaxed.
  • Beware of green outs.  A green out is when you’ve had too much weed and things go from fun to fucked.  You might feel like puking or you might start having paranoid thoughts.  It’s always better to have a little too little than too much.  You can always smoke more later.
  • If you do have a green out or start having negative thoughts, grab on to something positive.  Remember that you’re safe.  That no one’s ever died of weed.  Like, ever.  The bad feelings will pass and you’ll feel good in about an hour.
  • Do something.  Don’t smoke just for the sake of smoking.  Smoke in order to make the movie better.  Or the food.  Or the sex.  Or the discussions.  Or the fellowship.  Or the book.  Or the game.  Or the comedy show.  Or the sex.  Or the music.  Or the sex.  Or the writing.  Or the sex.
  • Learn how to roll a joint.  There’s something awesome about slowly preparing for a smoke session.
  • Remember there are no levels.  People talk as if weed is a low-level drug that prepares you for the hard stuff like heroin.  That’s bull.  Weed is something.  Heroin is something else.  Weed is fun, useful and can give you awesome insights.  Heroin will fuck you over.
  • Smoke with friends.  And then talk to each other.  Or play a game.  But don’t just veg out.  Waste of good weed.

What advice and insights do you have about smoking week?